You see, I've been going through a rough patch lately. My health hasn't been the best, and I've had more miserable days than good. The one continually positive correlation in my life though, even throughout this awful patch, has been Maxwell.
Maxwell has kept me accountable. Maxwell has kept me active. Maxwell has reminded me that even on my worst days, when I'm lashing out or I've completely removed myself from everyone and everything, that I still have that one goofy friend who manages to make me crack a smile. I have that friend who relies on me constantly. I have that one motivator that keeps me active. The one being on this earth that I've promised to NEVER EVER let down.
If it weren't for Maxwell, I'd probably have stopped traveling to the barn, stopped being physically active when my body aches and stabs me in the gut. But I made a promise to Max. I promised that his needs would always be met, and that his care would always be above and beyond what should be expected for a horse. This includes his training and exercise. There are days where it literally feels like the inside of my body is dying. It takes me an hour to get out of bed and ready to walk out the door. If it weren't for Maxwell, I promise you most of my weekends would be spent laying in bed groaning. Instead, though, because I promised my best friend all of these things, I get myself together, whether it takes me 10 minutes or 2 hours. I pull my breeches on, figure out what cocktail of medication I need to make it at the farm for a few hours, and I get in my car and drive. I usually spend the first 5 minutes cursing the morning. Reminding myself that if it weren't for this "needy animal", I could be at home relaxing, maybe not feeling so badly. All those negative feelings, even the physical ones, seem to diminish, however, when I pull down that driveway and see my pretty bay's head poking out of his side window, ears as far forward as they go, staring intently at my little red car.
Time stands still when I'm with my best friend. The healing that takes place when in the presence of these animals is astronomical. I know I'll regret saying this, because it is quite possible that it's all a coincidence (I AM a realist, sometimes, after all)...but it's rare that my symptoms get to the point of limiting me while I am with my horse. They seem to be so much less intense when I'm at the farm. I'm not sure if it's because while there, my mind is focused 100% on Max, and therefore I'm not busy worrying about how badly I feel, or if he does, in fact, carry some magical medicinal property in his coat, slobber, or sweat. But I do know that it's a rare occasion that I feel so terribly as to have to stop what I'm doing, while in his presence.
There are days where riding sounds like a terrible idea, as most of what ails me is right in my stomach. But I still climb into that saddle. And we put down some fantastic rides. I don't even know how my body manages, to be honest, for there are times when I am doubled over in pain, unable to handle the discomfort my body at times produces, but I manage to put in some amazing rides, still, and Maxwell, my best partner, always tries his hardest for me. Don't get me wrong, he still tries to get away with things. He still acts silly, he still makes mistakes. But his trying attitude makes up for it. He might not perform each maneuver I ask of him perfectly, but he sure does try so very hard to figure out what I'm asking of him. That's the most I could ask of any horse. I especially love his imagination. I've never been on a horse who has such an idea about the world as Max does. He truly looks at new exercises and really tries his best to figure out what it is I'm asking. We tried raised cavaletti over the weekend for the first time. It was a hilarious fail, but once again, it gave me a wonderful glimpse into the mind of my Thoroughbred. He didn't give me the correct answer the first time through, but GOD did he TRY. It was a one side raised, to a fully raised, to an opposite side raised cavaletti. He managed the first and last perfectly, as we'd been working trot poles like monsters lately. But that middle one? Well, when he sees a solid obstacle in front of him, he's been told to JUMP! So JUMP! he did, even though the spacing was clearly for that of a larger trot step over. But by god, this horse managed to trot the first, jump the second, and find his body with enough time to properly trot over the third. We only went over it three times, and when I realized he just wasn't ready for the entirely raised cavaletti, we stopped. But his continued effort to figure it out, and put together the two pieces of the puzzle that he did know, speaks VOLUMES for the mind that he has. He has such a brilliant mind. Just because he thinks differently than a human, doesn't make him stupid. I think people really need to remember that when having a difficult time with their mount. These animals are pretty brilliant, and deserve far more credit than many give them.
So thank you, Baby Maxwell. You really needed a human when you retired from the track. You really needed your person. You had a rough last go of it, and deserved someone to build you back up to the horse that you've always been. I like to think you found that in me. But in return, you've been better than I could ever ask you to be. For keeping me going when I want to give up, not because of anything you've done, but because that's the easy way out, and I just don't feel good sometimes. Thank you for being the driving force that keeps my body moving. Thank you for giving me so many hours of bliss when I'd otherwise be in pain or discomfort. Thank you for holding up to your end of the deal, being the best friend a girl could ask for. I promise to keep up on my promise too. That's why you're back in 4 times a week work. No complaining, Mister. I know you like that firm round rump you've already started to define in the last 4 weeks. I'm sure your back feels it's best when it's strong and filled in with muscle. And I'm sure those harder weekend rides feel much easier now that you're working more regularly again. It's Spring now, Baby boy, and this is our year. I can't promise that I'll always feel my best, but know that you, being you, that silly silly Thoroughbred I fell in love with 11 months ago, is enough. It's enough to keep me going, to keep me working, to keep my motivation up.
I often wonder where you would be, without the good people at the track, Summer, and myself. But maybe I should start wondering where I would be, at this very moment in time, if it weren't for you.
Sorry I've been lacking so much in posting! It's been a rough go of it lately. I'm suffering with some pretty interesting stomach and GI issues. Now you all know why GI health is so important to me for my horse! I've started to live the pain! I'm going to try and make a better effort to post more. It feels good. I don't even know if anyone reads these...but who really cares? I'm perfectly okay with talking to myself. At least if no one is reading these, there's no one to make fun of me for talking to myself, right?? :-D Check back soon. I promise another post, not gushing over the amazing animal I own, will be forthcoming!
No comments:
Post a Comment